Monday, August 10, 2015

Catharsis

Catharsis
Catharsis : the purification or purgation of the emotions  primarily through art.

What’s the problem?
I’m homicidal, I guess.
Suicidal.
Tried to kill my mother, her boyfriend.
My mother tried to kill me.
I walked into my ex-boyfriend’s house and threaten to kill him
And that slut he’s layin with.
I had a plan. I had a gun. It wasn’t loaded.

Do you have homicidal or suicidal ideation?
I ain’t sayin that. I never said that!
I know if I say that, I’ll be sent to the hospital.
So I ain’t sayin.
My ideas are my ideas.
You don’t need to be all up in my kitchen.
Step off bitch!

Bitch! Bitch! He called my mom a bitch!
I had to fight him
I had no choice. I ain’t tryin to lose face.
He’s locked up for trying to cut off someone’s face.
Choppin off someone’s head. He did!
With one swipe of a machete!
Lock up!
You don’t want to go to prison!
You too pretty!
You go to prison, first thing gonna happen,
You gonna get a number, and then you gonna get sold.
Sold. Yeah you gonna be somebody’s bitch.
But he called my mom a bitch!
Bitch maybe I’m having homicidal ideas right now.
Maybe I have the ideation of offing you hypothetically,
But I didn’t say that for real.

I want to go home.
I just want to go home.
My mom don’t want me
Cause her man don’t want me!
Mama always chooses men over me.

She parked on an exit ramp,
Jumped out of the car,
Started cussin me cause I cut her off.
I didn’t see her.
Well Goddammit pay attention!
I am paying attention!
You need to put a bra on,
Drop 200 pounds,
Cover up those thighs,
Cause girl your mini skirt days done been over.
And do something bout that meth breath.

There’s a meth lab in my house.
And I got sent away cause fool’s cookin meth!
He can’t even read, but he knows how to cook meth.
Least he thinks he does, but he done blew up the house.

I’ve never done anything as bad as meth.
All I did was some Xannies, Lortabs, weed, Adderall.
I sold my Adderall.
Then they found all our pot plants in the basement,
And my parents went to jail.
I got sent away!

I ran away. I had to. I was being abused.
You wanna know why I’m crazy?
If you’re so good at what you do,
You tell me why I’m crazy!
Can you fix me? Can you fix it?
Oh I fixed him!
I took a ball bat to his fat head.
Umm hmm sure did!
He didn’t mess with me any more.
I’ll tell you why I’m fucking crazy.
My uncle was messin with me.
He messed with me over a hundred times.

Any hallucinations?
What?
Hallucinations…
Ever see things that aren’t really there?
Well if I’m seein those things, then I’m thinking they’re really there.
I mean if I see them, then aren’t they real to me?
How does someone know if they are seeing things that aren’t really there? 
I mean whose version of real are we talking about here?
Yeah most what I see is good,
But there are three evil spirits in here,
And they hover over your head.
You’re a devil.
You’re an angel.
You can’t help me.
Nobody can help me.
Please…help me!


Honey! I’m home!

2 comments:

  1. Hugs. This one always gets me.

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    Replies
    1. I'm just now getting to where I can recite it without crying at the end. *sometimes*

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