The Velvet Jesus After-Party

The Velvet Jesus After-Party

The dog's name is Precious.
He tried to bite me.

I want to stick quarters between his cactus-spikey meth teeth,

shove them back into his smooshed face,

get a washer started,

wash his smell away.

The baby's name is Mercedes,

and they dress her in pageant clothes.

Never mind the snot caked around her nose,

her Cheeto mouth, and brown baby teeth.

The truck is bigger than the trailer.

The license plate says: "My Toy,"

but it belongs to the bank,

and they're coming to get it.

The letter says so.

The puppy-piss-soaked letter

That no one in the house knows how to read.

Velvet Jesus hangs on the wall...powerless.

They know not what they do.

He can only watch:

The Mister and Missus in a fry-pan fight.

The Missus goes to sleep with the neighbor.

They pop commandments like bubble wrap.

Velvet Jesus knows that:

They all drink until 2 a.m. on Sunday morning,

just hours before sliding into the booth at his house,

with their blood-shot eyes,

with liquor on their breath,

because Mawmaw won't cook dinner

unless they attend the salvation after-party.

Last call! Alter call! Communion wine.

Contemplating Frogs in Pots

Contemplating Frogs in Pots

Just put them in lukewarm water,

they say.

Gradually turn up the heat.

They won't try to get out.

They will just float there

and cook.

I think about this.

As the water gets hotter,

surely there will be signs

of distress.

I imagine there would at least be a whimper.

At even the smallest whimper,

I'd grab them off the stove,

rush them outside,

release their bumpy green butts

back into the mossy grass goodness

into the cool.

Hop along, little buddies,

I didn't mean it.

How could they be dumb enough

to float there, cooking,

to not recognize that it's getting hotter?

But some deny global warming,

And some still grease up lily pale skin

and go to bake in the sun.

I start off with lukewarm water,

add myself, a bottle of wine,

a book of poems.

I use my toe to gradually turn the heat up,

and I wonder:

If the water tank was big enough,

and the water could get hot enough,

would I stay in their long enough,

to cook without knowing?

Cooking with wine can be dangerous.

I've fallen asleep in the bath before.

The cold water up to my neck,

my head bobbing to the side.

He noticed I wasn't in bed,

and came and pulled me out

just in time.

He's done this at least twice in 20 years.

Could frogs be dumb enough

to hang out in dangerous waters

and remain mellow as they float

toward their death?

I guess the answer is

yes. 

Introducing my poetry book...

https://www.createspace.com/5351947?ref=1147694&utm_id=6026

Above is a link to my new poetry book, and below is a sip of what's inside:

Drooping, Shrinking Hopes

The folks at the restaurant,

in crisp shirts and overalls,

are amazed at the machine on the bathroom wall.

For people who look like they’ve rolled in from the prairie,

that lil machine holds things that are scary.

There are oils and lubricants,

a rainbow of rubbers,

a mystery called the “goodie box”

to satisfy lovers.

There’s a very large sign

proclaiming abstinence is best,

but if you’re gonna be a whore,

we can feather your love nest.

And while Clem’s drinking root beer

and talking with the guys,

His beloved Corie’s in the restroom,

planning to buy him a surprise.

She digs in her granny purse.

(They’ve been married 50 years.)

She pulls out her wallet

and laughs 'til there are tears.

With a lil bit of money,

and the flick of her wrist,

their creaky old marriage

could get a new twist!

Drooping and shrinkage

would be problems of the past.

This mysterious goodie

could surely make Clem last.

She’d blow more than his mind,

and heat up his bed!

Ecstasy could be theirs

just like the sign said!

The machine screams promises of pleasure intense.

Too bad Corie didn’t have 50 cents.

Bloom or Bust

Bloom or Bust

Maybe when the spring comes,

I'll roll out of here,

loud and wild like a thundercloud.

Clap my hands and shake the mountains,

shake your home.

But for now, I'm content

to be blanketed by the winter,

dropped into a void

like a tulip bulb

humming with potential

and ignoring the fact

that I'm only nurtured

with bullshit.

Maybe I'll bloom in the spring,

But maybe I'll stay hidden in the dark,

content to be a dud.

You'd forget about me.

You'd drop your expectations.

Eventually, as with all of us,

only the earthworms will remember. 

I Don't Know You. You Don't Know Me.

I Don't Know You. You Don't Know Me.

A couple, holding hands while hitch-hiking their way

through the evening autumn sunshine.

She carries a well-fed puppy in her backpack.

I want to pick them up, take them to dinner,

ask them how they've spent their day.

I'm stable,

with the job

and responsibilities.

I'm tied down with plenty of roots

but connected to nothing.

They are full.

I can see it in their eyes.

They don't know where they will be sleeping tonight,

but they will be together

probably under stars.

The rest of us drive by them,

in vehicles that own us,

rushing home to big houses,

with big, lush, pillow-top mattresses,

where night after night,

we pile up our empty shells.

The STFU post

I always try to hold my tongue and mince words....right. If you're easily offended, stop reading now because I'm calling this one the STFU post.

Once again autism moms are being bashed in the media for chosing not to vax their kids or vaxing on an alternative schedule. You don't have children so you've never had to make these decisions? Oh okay, you can stop reading, and STFU right here and now.

Both of my children were vaccinated, and both were damaged. They are both adopted and not biologically related so I have two cases of children damaged by vaccines, who have no biological link. So anyone one wants to try to argue that they are both genetically predisposed to have medical issues, you can stop reading, and STFU riiiiight....here.

One of my children became violently ill and AUTISTIC after he was hammered with his 15 month vaccines AND flu shots all at the same time, which collectively had enough mercury to poison a 150 pound person. At the time he weighed ohhhhh less than 30 pounds. This was back in 2001, when the govt realized that there was enough mercury in the vaccines to poison the kids and ordered the mercury to be removed, BUT didn't do a recall and allowed doctors to use up the vaccines they had on the shelves. These were the ones my child got. Yes, I know when my child became autistic. He was exposed to nothing else during this time frame so, yes I know what CAUSED it. So those of you who think that parents don't realize when a new stimulus is introduced and their child becomes damaged,  you are here! Feel free to stop reading, and just STFU.

Fast forward to 2005 when I got my baby girl. I didn't want to be this fanatical mother who didn't get her kids vaccinated so with Raven, I had her vaccines broken down into individual doses. She got her mumps vaccine with no issues. She got her measles vaccine the next month. It appeared for a few days that there were no issues, and she was doing fine. Then one night just before I put her to bed, I noticed she felt warm. In the time it took me to get the thermometer to check her temperature, she went into convulsions and had to be taken to the ER. At the ER, I told them she had the measles component of the vaccine a few days before and asked if that could be the culprit. Oh nooooo they said. It would have been an immediate reaction, not delayed. So I get on WVU's medial database to research this, and there are muliple cases of this happening days after the MMR, AND many children died because they had no symptoms of illness, their parents put them to bed, and they went into convulsions and died. Something like 30 percent of the kids who had seizures went on to have another one, and of those who had a second one, they had a high risk of developing seizure disorder for life. I think I read that it was 70 percent. (Those of you who blindly believe everything nurses tell you can STFU too. Don't get me wrong, I work with a lot of wonderful  nurses, and many of them are smarter than doctors, but there are those who are dumber than hell, and I have no idea how they got through school. And  you know it's true...)

So both of my children have been damaged by vaccines. The United States will not do the test to see if children have heavy metals/ mercury poisoning so I had to send my son's labs to France to get evidence that he has mercury poisoning that could have come from no source. (So there is some science that everyone seems to think it's okay to ignore. ) Yes, he has mercury poisoning that has damaged his brain, and he presents as autistic. One in 68 kids is autistic now. And look at the number of people with Alzheimer's (which looks a lot like adult on-set autism)  which I believe that years of mercury-containing flu shots have contributed too. Yes, vaccines help in a lot of ways, but it's undeniable that we have a lot of problems now that we didn't have years ago. China didn't have an autistic population until we started sending our vaccines over there. There is no autism in Amish communities. Why is it okay to ignore this but not okay to question studies that are funded by  pharmaceutical   industries and backed by our first-do-no-harm-but-if-you-do-first-cover-your-ass government? So those of you who think we are ignoring science, you can STFU too. Science is ignoring us. Studies can be produced to say anything. Anything.

And this recent measles outbreak...blame the concerned autism moms if you want. I understand that you have to have someone to blame other than authority because you are sheeple. But have you wondered why this outbreak started somewhere large and in the public eye, like Disneyland? It hasn't been news in any small towns, just BOOM! Measles in Disneyland! If all of the anti-vaxers were causing so much chaos across the country, why aren't you hearing about his in small towns everywhere. But the media fall out sure has turned the public tide against moms who are just looking out for their kids and has taken a lot of pressure off Big Pharma and Uncle Sam.

 Those of you who blindly trust the government can STFU too. There was a time when Uncle Sam thought it was okay to hand out small pox blankets. Draw your own conclusions, but it's time you fucking QUESTION.

Untitled 1/14/15

Maybe when the spring comes,

I'll roll out of here,

loud and wild like a thundercloud.

Clap my hands and shake the mountains,

shake your home.

But for now, I'm content

to be blanketed by the winter,

dropped into a void

like a tulip bulb

humming with potential

and ignoring the fact

that I'm only nurtured

with bullshit.

Maybe I'll bloom in the spring,

But maybe I'll stay hidden in the dark,

content to be a dud.

You'd forget about me.

You'd drop your expectations.

Eventually, as with all of us,

only the earthworms will remember.