Ants have been aggravating me all year. Even in the dead of winter, there would be three or four meandering around my kitchen. Sometimes they wouldn't be on any food substances...just out for a leisurely stroll on their apparent mission to drive me crazy. I have gassed them with Raid, put out ant baits, sprinkled Boric acid, just started knocking the hell out of them with my bare hands. They. always. come. back.
I started studying them the other day. I wonder how much they are like humans. I wonder if they get in their lil colonies at night and talk about the tragedies they have suffered. I picture them gathered around their sugar-coated "gold" that they have been mining from my house all day. Maybe I'd gassed some of them that day. They would sit around in intense conversation:
"I was right behind Joe heading into the sugar mines this morning! I don't know why he was gassed, and I was spared. It came out of nowhere!"
"Sugar-mining just isn't safe anymore! Just last week Jimbo was crushed, and he had switched shifts with me! It should've been me!"
"I've told the children not to go around the humans, even if they have candy! But candy is so hard to resist! The humans have cannnnnndy..."
"We were lined up outside on the porch in peaceful protest of the rainy morning, and she gassed us! All of us! It was a peaceful demonstration."
"There are little hotels set up for us, but don't go in there! I heard that a member of a neighboring colony carried some Kool-aid home from that hotel, and it wiped out the whole colony."
"They let their offspring burn Susie alive with a magnifying glass. Just. because. they. could."
"Slim was out for a stroll...just minding his own business...wasn't even gathering food, and she mangled him. He'll never work again! And he has all those children..."
"Just when everything seems to be going well, the fist of the gods can smash you to bits."
"My cousins were climbing Mt. Dishcloth, and she water boarded them!"
"Oh yeah? Well she caught my brother stealing a bite of her Poptart, and she FRIED HIM before he even had a trial."
"Atrocities! Something must be done! Tomorrow we march! Tomorrow we invade...all over again! And we keep invading until the barbaric antics have ceased!"