Wednesday, August 26, 2015

The Disappointing Pin-up Dress

I wanted to look like a sexpot pin-up girl
from the 1940s.
I ordered:
the dress in yellow,
the shoes in red and white,
the cardigan sweater in red,
the headband in red polka dots.
I looked like:
Ronald McDonald,
the mom from Christmas Story,
Flo from Mel's Diner,
somebody's mother-in-law
or grandmother,
a combination of Saturday Night Live characters,
a goddamn circus tent.
The mister says:
"Those shoes say:
There's no place like home
except the bowling alley."
Maybe he's never seen so much sexy in one place.
I've clicked my heels together a million times,
but I can't get anywhere but here.

*If you're not sure if sexpot is one word or two, DON'T google it! 

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